How Childhood Trauma Affects Adulthood: Breaking Free from Emotional Survival Mode with IFS Therapy
How do I know if I have repressed memories from childhood trauma? Keep reading.
How Childhood Trauma Affects Adulthood
You may have had the perfect childhood on paper, good grades, a stable home, and everything you physically needed. But beneath the surface, you knew something wasn’t right, something was off, you just couldn’t put your thumb on it. Anxiety, self-doubt, and emotional overload were your constant companions. If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. Childhood trauma often lurks in the shadows, quietly affecting our lives long after we leave home. It’s time to stop ignoring the emotional weight of the past and start healing. As explained by The Trauma and Mental Health Report, unresolved childhood trauma can deeply affect emotional regulation, making it challenging for adults to manage stress and form healthy relationships. So, let’s get into understanding how this is impacting you as an adult.
In this post, we’ll talk about how childhood trauma, often overlooked and unaddressed, shows up in adulthood, why it’s so impactful, and how therapy, particularly IFS (Internal Family Systems), can help break the cycle of trauma. You’ll also learn how trauma intensives can get you where you want to be in your healing journey, as soon as one day not months of therapy.
The Hidden Epidemic: Understanding the Impact of Childhood Trauma
What is trauma treatment? Keep reading.
What is Childhood Trauma?
Childhood trauma isn't always what you think. It can show up in a variety of ways, emotional neglect, physical abuse, or exposure to unhealthy home dynamics. Unfortunately, many of these experiences go unnoticed, especially when we’re expected to “just move on” or “brush things under the rug.” But those experiences leave deep emotional scars (often the ones we can’t put our finger on but we feel off"), and often, repressed memories of these events continue to affect us in adulthood. It shows up like failed or toxic relationships and overextending yourself at work or in relationships. Research from the National Institute of Mental Health shows that childhood trauma is a significant risk factor for developing PTSD and other mental health disorders later in life, highlighting the importance of early intervention and healing.
So, what if you’re 40 and reading this? It’s never too late to start healing. Honestly, it’s better to start now than be 60, looking back and thinking, ‘What the hell did I just do with my life?’ Because, in reality, you’ve probably been surviving, not really living, and you might not have fully realized it yet. I see it all the time in my therapy room with women just like you. It’s never too late to wake up and start living the life you deserve.
How Does Trauma Affect Adults?
As a child, you might not have the tools or vocabulary to process the pain you felt or even realize what was happening, and as an adult, that unaddressed trauma can carry over into everyday life. You may struggle with chronic anxiety, people-pleasing behavior, or feeling emotionally disconnected from those around you. It’s no wonder you feel stuck. These are some of the common ways childhood trauma affects adults and they can affect every part of your life, from relationships to mental health.
Key Signs of Childhood Trauma in Adulthood
Here are some of the common signs:
Emotional numbness: You might feel disconnected from your emotions or others.
Chronic fatigue: You’re constantly exhausted, both physically and mentally, from suppressing emotional pain.
A constant need for approval: If you struggle to feel accepted or “good enough,” it’s likely connected to unresolved trauma.
How Does Adult Attachment Styles Impact Trauma Recovery?
Research shows that people who experience childhood abuse or neglect are more likely to develop insecure attachment styles as adults. These insecure attachments, such as anxious or avoidant tendencies, often make it harder to heal from trauma. These attachment patterns can keep you locked in unhealthy cycles, perpetuating trauma in your relationships and emotional well-being. Fortunately, therapy, particularly IFS, can help you heal these attachment wounds, creating healthier emotional connections and breaking free from the grip of past trauma.
A recent study involving survivors of multiple childhood traumas explored the effectiveness of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy in treating Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
IFS Therapy for PTSD: The study found that IFS therapy was effective in reducing PTSD symptoms among individuals with a history of multiple childhood traumas.
Mechanism of Action: IFS therapy helps individuals identify and address different parts of themselves, facilitating healing by integrating these parts and resolving internal conflicts.
Implications for Treatment: The findings suggest that IFS therapy can be a valuable treatment option for those suffering from PTSD due to complex childhood trauma.
Yes you read that right, IFS THerapy can help you start living your life instead of just surviving and going through the motions. Repressed Memories: The Silent Burden of Childhood Trauma
What Are Repressed Memories?
Repressed memories are pieces of your past that your brain “locks away” to protect you from overwhelming emotional pain. You know, that heavy weight you’re constantly carrying that you can't put down, where every day is a struggle to manage the deep, unspoken hurt that affects every part of your life. But just because these memories are hidden doesn’t mean they’re not impacting you. In fact, they can resurface unexpectedly, often triggered by situations, people, or even physical sensations you don’t fully understand.
How Do Repressed Memories Impact Adult Behavior?
Repressed memories don’t just disappear. They can show up as sudden bursts of anger, anxiety, or sadness that seem out of place. These memories may affect your ability to trust others, feel safe, or connect emotionally with those around you. It’s common for people who’ve experienced childhood trauma to feel “stuck” in emotional survival mode, trying to protect themselves without even realizing the source of the pain.
How Repressed Memories Affected Me
I grew up in a home where I had everything I physically needed, good grades, married parents who were both employed, played sports year round. But emotionally, I felt unseen, unsupported. It wasn’t until my adult years that I started really started to look in the mirror and acknowledge my memories of feeling invisible, and those memories impacted how I connected with others. TONS OF TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS. Repressed memories aren't just forgotten, they haunt you until you address them. Emotional neglect can have lasting effects, which is why it's crucial to address it head-on. If you want to read more on how emotional neglect shapes your emotional health, check out my blog on understanding the effects of emotional neglect.
The Impact of Social Participation
Recent studies suggest that childhood adversity, like emotional neglect, often leads to depression in adulthood. Interestingly, social participation, such as spending time with friends or engaging in community activities, can help alleviate some of these depressive feelings. However, the key is balance. Excessive social engagement can trigger past trauma, while healthy, supportive connections help to reduce its impact. Therapy, including IFS, can help you navigate these complex social dynamics and heal from the emotional scars of your past.
A recent study involving 6,704 older adults examined how childhood adversity influences depression in later life and the role of social participation in this relationship.
Childhood Adversity and Depression: Individuals who experienced childhood adversity, such as poor family economic situations, caregiver depression, or lack of neighborhood support, were more likely to suffer from depression in older age.
Dose-Response Effect: The study found a "dose-response" effect, meaning that the more types of childhood adversity an individual experienced, the higher their depression scores in later life.
Social Participation as a Moderator: Engaging in social activities like visiting friends, participating in community events, or playing games helped reduce the negative impact of childhood adversity on depression. However, excessive social participation could exacerbate depression, especially if it triggered negative childhood memories.
Why I Understand and Am So Passionate About Helping Women Heal from Childhood Trauma
Why does childhood trauma affect adulthood? Keep reading. A trauma therapist explaining her own childhood trauma and how she healed through IFS therapy & trauma intensives.
Growing up, everything looked fine on the outside. Good grades, a roof over my head, and all the things people would think made up the perfect childhood. But on the inside? I was a mess. Anxiety, self-doubt, and emotional neglect were my constant companions, yet no one ever noticed. I was expected to be perfect, to keep it all together, to meet everyone else’s needs, but I didn’t even know who I was or how to ask for help. The disconnect between the perfect image I projected and the chaos I felt inside caused me years of struggles, emotionally and in my relationships.
It wasn’t until later in life, after years of working in mental health and doing my own healing, that I finally understood how deeply childhood trauma shapes us. It’s not just about surviving, it’s about really feeling, understanding, and healing the wounds that have been buried for so long. It’s a messy, sometimes painful journey. And that’s why I’m so passionate about helping women like me. Women who’ve been holding it together for everyone else while quietly falling apart inside.
Now, through trauma intensives, I’m able to guide others through this messy healing process. I help women break free from that constant emotional survival mode and really start to heal from the inside out. I’m not here to promise it will be easy, I’m here to help you face your trauma, navigate through it, and find real emotional freedom. Using tools like Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, we’ll dig into the parts of you that have been holding onto pain you didn’t even realize was still there. Whether in person or virtually across Pennsylvania, I’m here to walk beside you as you reclaim your true self and create the emotional freedom you’ve been craving.
How is your childhood trauma impacting you? Take the quiz by clicking this link. IFS Therapy: The Key to Healing Childhood Trauma
What is IFS Therapy?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy views the mind as made up of different "parts," each representing different aspects of your psyche. These parts could include the “Inner Child,” “Protector,” or “Critic.” For those with childhood trauma, IFS helps identify and heal these parts, allowing you to integrate them and create a healthier, more balanced internal system. Read more about how I use this approach in my sessions.
How IFS Therapy Helps Heal Childhood Trauma
IFS works by recognizing the parts of you that are still carrying childhood wounds. The "Inner Child" may still feel neglected or misunderstood. The “Protector” part may have develoeped to shield you from pain. IFS helps you gently unblend from these parts and heal the underlying childhood trauma. In doing so, it allows you to reconnect with your authentic self.
According to the American Psychological Association, understanding the effects of childhood trauma and its impact on brain development is crucial in creating effective treatment strategies for those affected by past trauma. I guide you through this by providing some education in our sessions to help you make sense of what has really been happening (probably most of your life).
What is parts work in therapy? Keep reading.
My Journey with IFS Therapy
For me, IFS therapy helped me meet my “Inner Child” and finally provide the care she had missed. It wasn’t about addressing the perfectionist part of me, it was about integrating and healing the parts that had been neglected for so long. IFS and trauma intensives allowed me to reconnect with the parts of myself that had been hiding for years and start the process of real healing. I made a dramatic shift in my identity and life choices after 1 month of a trauma intensive.
If you’re ready to begin your healing journey, I offer trauma intensives online in Pennsylvania and individual therapy across PA to help you process and move past childhood trauma, using trauma-informed approaches like IFS therapy.
Trauma Intensives: Why Focused Healing Works
What are trauma intensives? Keep reading.
What Are Trauma Intensives?
Trauma intensives are longer therapy sessions that focus on deep healing in a condensed amount of time (3, 4 or 5 hour formats). My intensives combine IFS therapy, mindfulness, somatic techniques, and trauma-focused interventions to speed up the healing process.
How Trauma Intensives Accelerate Healing
Unlike traditional therapy, which may take years to have significant breakthroughs, trauma intensives offer focused, immersive experiences that facilitate rapid shifts in your healing. These sessions allow you to address unresolved trauma quickly, helping you make emotional breakthroughs that may have otherwise taken months or years in regular therapy.
Why You Should Consider a Trauma Intensive
If you’re feeling stuck in patterns that you are self-aware of (usually, childhood trauma), trauma intensives offer an effective way to break free from old emotional patterns in just one intensive. By dedicating several hours to intensive work, you can address long-held pain in a concentrated setting, leading to faster healing and emotional clarity.
Getting Started: Your First Steps Towards Healing
Identifying Your Trauma
Start by reflecting on your childhood experiences and identifying the pain you’re still carrying. It’s important to acknowledge the emotional pain you’ve experienced. Journaling or speaking with a therapist can help uncover those buried memories. It’s common to not remember much of your childhood due to childhood trauma. I’ll unpack this in a future blog. From a trauma perspective, it makes sense!
How to Use IFS Therapy for Healing
IFS encourages you to identify the "parts" of yourself that are still holding onto trauma, such as the “Perfectionist” or “Avoidant” parts. By unblending from these protective parts, you can begin healing your wounded inner child and reclaim your sense of self.
If you’ve read this far and are curious how IFS therapy can help you, you should probably book that free consult now or keep reading…
Practical Tips to Start Healing from Childhood Trauma
Practice mindfulness to ground yourself in the present moment and connect with your emotions. And let me guess, you probably hate sitting still or the thought of meditation makes you cringe. Yep, that’s normal when you have trauma!
Try journaling with prompts like, "What messages about myself did I internalize as a child?"
Consider booking a trauma intensive to start healing your past trauma. Imagine feeling in control of yourself rather than your emotions running the show, it would feel good, right? It’s possible.
FAQ: Answering Your Questions
What is Childhood Trauma, and How Does It Affect Adulthood?
Childhood trauma can shape who you become as an adult. It can lead to issues like emotional numbness, anxiety, and people-pleasing behavior, which continue into adulthood. Healing is possible with the right support.
How Do I Know If I Have Repressed Childhood Memories?
Repressed memories can be challenging to identify. If you notice emotional triggers or physical sensations without an apparent cause, it could be a sign of repressed memories. Therapy, like IFS, can help uncover and heal these memories.
What is IFS Therapy, and How Can It Help with Childhood Trauma?
IFS therapy is an approach that helps you heal from trauma by identifying and integrating the "parts" of yourself that hold the pain. It is particularly effective for childhood trauma, as it helps to reparent and heal the wounded inner parts.
Can Trauma Intensives Help in Healing from Childhood Trauma?
Yes, trauma intensives offer a healing experience that accelerates the emotional processing of deep-rooted trauma. These sessions allow for faster breakthroughs, often resulting in quicker emotional recovery.
Is It Possible to Heal from Childhood Trauma as an Adult?
Yes, healing from childhood trauma is entirely possible as an adult. With the right therapy, like IFS or trauma intensives, you can reconnect with the wounded parts of yourself and begin to heal.
Why is childhood trauma seen as the hidden epidemic? Schedule now to work with me!
If you’re struggling to move forward from a toxic relationship, let’s work together. I offer virtual trauma therapy and intensives across Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, and all of Pennsylvania.
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Disclaimer: Listen, what you see here on my blog or social media isn’t therapy, it’s meant to educate, inspire, and maybe even help you feel a little less alone. But if you’re in it right now and need real support, please reach out to a licensed therapist in your state who can walk alongside you in your healing journey. Therapy is personal, and you deserve a space that’s all about you. If you’re in PA and looking for a trauma therapist who gets it, I’m currently accepting new clients for trauma intensives. Let’s fast-track your healing journey, because you deserve to feel better, sooner.
Research Brief Author: Mariah J. Zur, M.S., LPC, CCTP
About the Author: Mariah J. Zur, LPC is a trauma-informed therapist based in Pennsylvania, specializing in childhood trauma recovery, emotional healing, and helping individuals break free from toxic relationship patterns. With over 10 years of experience, Mariah uses evidence-based approaches like Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and trauma intensives to guide her clients through their healing journey. Passionate about empowering women to reclaim their emotional freedom, Mariah provides virtual and in-person therapy in Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and across Pennsylvania. When she's not in the therapy room, she’s advocating for mental health awareness and supporting others in their personal transformation.
