Am I Confusing My Relationship or Is My Partner Narcissistic? A Trauma-Informed Look at Your Struggles
If you've been asking yourself whether you're stuck in a confusing relationship or if your partner is simply a full-blown narcissist (or a mix of both), you’re not alone. Being in a relationship with a narcissist can leave you feeling emotionally drained, constantly questioning yourself, and wondering if you’re the problem. Understanding narcissistic behavior in a relationship is key to recognizing whether you’re dealing with a toxic dynamic or if unresolved trauma is influencing your perception. Let’s break it down so you can stop second-guessing yourself.
As a trauma-informed therapist, I get it. Navigating relationships when you’ve been impacted by trauma (or have witnessed toxic behaviors) can make the whole "What’s going on here?" question even more complicated to answer. So let’s talk about it.
We will break it down in five simple questions that can help you determine if your relationship is as toxic as that one person you avoid at family gatherings (we all have one), or if you’re misreading your partner due to past wounds.
1. Do You Feel Constantly Walked On or Invalidated?
Your brain is always scanning for danger—it’s a survival mechanism. If you often feel dismissed, unheard, or gaslit, your nervous system might be on high alert.
In a healthy relationship, both partners validate each other’s emotions. But in a narcissistic relationship, you might hear things like:
“You’re overreacting.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“That never happened.”
This type of gaslighting makes you question reality and feeds dysregulated attachment patterns. If you’re constantly walking on eggshells, that’s a red flag.
2. Does Your Partner Seem to Lack Empathy?
One of the biggest narcissist traits in relationships is a lack of empathy. A partner with narcissistic behaviors in a relationship often:
Dismisses your feelings.
Centers conversations around themselves.
Struggles to take responsibility for their actions.
In narcissistic relationships, emotional validation is rare. Your emotions become an inconvenience rather than something that deserves acknowledgment. This emotional neglect can lead to anxious attachment style healing challenges, making it hard to trust your own feelings.
3. Are You Walking on Eggshells, Avoiding Conflict?
If you feel like you can’t express yourself without triggering an argument, that’s a problem. How do narcissists act in a relationship? They often control through fear, making their partner feel responsible for keeping the peace.
Signs of narcissism in relationships include:
Avoiding topics to prevent outbursts.
Feeling anxious about their reactions.
Constantly trying to “fix” things to avoid conflict.
If you’re constantly suppressing your feelings to avoid setting them off, that’s a sign of trauma-informed counseling being a necessary next step.
4. Do You Feel Like You’re Always Giving, With Little to No Reciprocity?
A healthy relationship is a two-way street. But narcissists in relationships take, take, and take some more. They often:
Expect constant praise and validation.
Drain your energy without giving emotional support in return.
Make everything about their needs while disregarding yours.
Healing from anxious attachment means recognizing when you’re overextending yourself. If you feel exhausted and unappreciated, it might be time to step back and reflect.
5. Are You Second-Guessing Your Own Reality?
One of the most toxic narcissistic behaviors in a relationship is gaslighting, manipulating you into questioning what’s real.
If your partner constantly:
Twists situations to make you feel guilty.
Denies things they clearly said or did.
Makes you feel like you’re “crazy” or imagining things.
Then you may be dealing with narcissist behavior in a relationship that is designed to control and destabilize you.
So, What's the Verdict?
If you’ve been nodding along to most of these, you might be in a narcissistic relationship, or at the very least, a toxic dynamic that needs attention.
What to do next:
Start researching therapy for narcissistic abuse.
Explore trauma therapy near me options.
Consider IFS therapy online to work through healing anxious attachment styles.
If you’re struggling with these patterns, you don’t have to navigate this alone. Online trauma therapy and EMDR therapy near me can help you rebuild your sense of self after a toxic relationship.
P.S. If your relationship makes you feel like you’re the only one in it, it might be time for a reality check. Just saying.
How do I Find a Trauma Therapist Near Me?
Healing from narcissistic abuse, anxious attachment, and trauma takes time, but the right support can make all the difference. If you're looking for trauma therapy near me, consider working with a trauma-informed therapist specializing in:
IFS Therapy Pennsylvania & Online IFS Therapy
Therapists in Pittsburgh & Trauma Therapy Philadelphia
Narcissistic Abuse Therapy Near Me
EMDR Therapy Near Me for Trauma Healing
No matter what you’re facing, narcissism in relationships, anxious attachment, or emotional exhaustion—there is a way forward. You don’t have to stay stuck in the cycle. Healing is possible, and you deserve a safe, stable, and supportive relationship.
If you’re struggling to move forward from a toxic relationship, let’s work together. I offer virtual trauma therapy and intensives across Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, and all of Pennsylvania.
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Disclaimer: Listen, what you see here on my blog or social media isn’t therapy, it’s meant to educate, inspire, and maybe even help you feel a little less alone. But if you’re in it right now and need real support, please reach out to a licensed therapist in your state who can walk alongside you in your healing journey. Therapy is personal, and you deserve a space that’s all about you. If you’re in PA and looking for a trauma therapist who gets it, I’m currently accepting new clients for trauma intensives. Let’s fast-track your healing journey, because you deserve to feel better, sooner.
Research Brief Author: Mariah J. Zur, M.S., LPC, CCTP
